“Can I be happier than this?”
A rhetorical question, that is clear from the intonation. If you had to give an answer anyway, it would be ‘no’.
“Could I be happier than this?”
I hear myself uttering that question out loud as I sit snugly in my living room in Naxos. It makes me laugh. Because if that is not the highlight of being in the moment, of gratitude, then I don’t know what is.
After all, it’s only how you look at things. I’m in Naxos for only a week and it has rained almost continuously today. Very unusual, but still. My street has turned into a river again, so walking to the beach is not really an option. If I want to go into town, it is a perilous undertaking. I best make a detour via Mikri Vigla, which will take me about half an hour. But the alternative means a big chance of drowning my motor or getting stuck in the mud. (And believe me, I’ve been there: not much fun.)
The houses here are not built for cold winters, so a cosy warmth, as we know it in Belgium, possibly literally by the gas heater, is not an option here. The restaurants are closed except for a few. More than usual, because they have to work with a covid-pass and there are quite some self-willed islanders who do not choose for that and thus severely restrict their social activities. Coffee shops are partly closed for renovation. The bakers in Mikri Vigla is open when he thinks it is and so has left me standing at the door a few times. So no Freddo Cappucino.
And I am only talking about the local situation. Not to mention the rising energy prices or let alone the war in Oerkraïne.
When I think about that, I should almost be ashamed of my feelings. Or not. I hear myself saying to a friend who was cramped with fear at the doctor’s office: ‘It is indeed a terrible situation. But when we are afraind, it doesn’t help anyone. On the contrary. If we feel love and peace in our hearts, we radiate it and the world can only benefit from that.’
But so, I am happy. I love those moments when I can feel it so intensely and especially, when I realise it. It clearly has nothing to do with the situation you’re in. (Or maybe it does, I am of course in Naxos. ;-)) It has mainly to do with an inner process. The feeling of being on the right path. Being able to make far-reaching decisions without it throwing you off balance. So no, it is not there by itself. Perhaps it is the result of years of inner work. But now I am reaping the fruits. And they are delicious fruits.
And so, at any given moment, I ask myself out loud: “Can I be happier than this?”