And again it happens to me: I finally take a book with me to read and after – this time, only – 7 pages, I already feel like writing again (cfr. blog of 4 July). Luckily, I have my notebook with me.
That is what a good book does: it inspires.
It is not just any book. I received it as a gift from the couple who come to the couple’s retreat. The man had brought it along to read and it also inspired him. During our first session, he already quotes:
‘Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre,
c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction.’
by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.
And that he did not entirely agree with this. That, perhaps, is the pitfall in a long-term relationship. Perhaps you look too much in the same direction (to keep the business called ‘family’ going) and too little at each other. Maybe people who have been together for a long time, need to learn to look at each other again. And that is exactly why they are here: to find that connection again. Two hearts, two souls that meet and choose to go on the road together. The road becomes clearer and clearer. There is a risk of losing the ’together’ along the way.
At the end of the week, I receive the book as a gift (including sand – lovely!) with a beautiful message written in it. ‘You have shown us a new way…’ Could it be more appropriate?
And so I take the book with me when I cycle to a terrace where the cedar trees offer some protection from the heat wave that is teaching me to appreciate air conditioning.
In the same first ode there is another quotation, this time from Rodaan Al Galidi. Dutch poetry.
Tomorrow
I will go to the woman I love
And give her back her wings.
So beautiful.
And so recognisable: losing your wings in a relationship, maybe not so much because the other person short-circuits them or takes them away. But sometimes you are so blinded by the path of the other person that, without knowing it, you are walking more than you are flying. And there is nothing wrong with that either. Only, maybe you are simply a woman who is destined to fly. And if you want to be true to yourself, you should not even wait for the other person to give you your wings back, but stop to pick them up yourself.
No matter how painful it is to leave the cosy path you walked with two, once you feel the freedom of your wings again, once you float and fly, dive and soar, you realise that this is your true nature.
All good things come in threes, so let me throw in another one.
Love is the beginning and the end of everything.
I heard it yesterday in one of those romantic feel-good movies you sometimes watch during ’that period’. It touched me.
Yes, love is the beginning of everything and perhaps the end is also connected to love – self-love. A love that is treated somewhat stepmotherly. A love in which we are not standardly educated, in which we are often not stimulated but rather slowed down, in order to prevent unbridled egoism. But that too is love. Important love.
Love, a word that is often used, a word that has many layers.
Love in which we look at each other and at ourselves and move forward together.
Love in which we walk a path, but also fly high.
Love that hurts and love that heals.
Love.
I wish it for you. The love that is right.